Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
