3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
