If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
