I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
