those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
