btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize