well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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