i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I died a long time ago.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
