she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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