i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
