im drinking this country out of the recession.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
