you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
