Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
