Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
