I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
