I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
