So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
