writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
