I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im holly from the hills drunk
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
