I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
