i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
