If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize