He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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