that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize