Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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