He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
