Pappa wants mamma naked
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize