I am in a vortex of obligation.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
