guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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