Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize