i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
