I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I could make wine with my vomit
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize