Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
