How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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