We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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