Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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