My nipple is on Facebook.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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