next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
