i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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