im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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