i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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