Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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