My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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