Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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