AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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