thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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