i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
