I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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