Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
