So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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