So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
