Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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