Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
