You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
