am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
