i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
