did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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