Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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