Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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