What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
