Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
