How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i think i have two assholes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
