How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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