I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so explain again why im purple
no
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
