I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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