he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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