8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
