i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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