i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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