They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
