You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
