I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize