is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize