You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you had me at cake vodka
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
