? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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